Dearest Sister,
You are only a little over 8 years old now as I am typing this, still extremely young, still happy, still adorable, with nothing to worry about except homework. You don't even have to worry about what's for dinner.
I watched you grow up, doing the things that I did when I was your age. You are just like me. You even LOOK something like me. So much so that if I was born 12 years ago we could have been twins.
I may be wrong, but I believe that you will feel the way I am feeling today.
I am probably at the lowest point of my life as I am writing this. My heart is broken into a million pieces. I feel ugly, dirty, unattractive. I feel like I'm the only person left in the world. In my world.
I feel guilty because I made mistakes. Mistakes that I cannot undo. Mistakes that I'll have to bear until the day I die.
I have the feeling that when people find out what I had done no one will forgive me. And this feeling is eating me from the inside out ='(
It was so unbearable that I skipped a full day's class and returned home. Yes I did that just to escape from campus. Oh and I am doing my course in English Linguistics, 1st year, 2nd semester, as I am typing this.
Going home did not help. I reached home on Wednesday night, and all too soon it was time to return to campus on Friday. Four hours journey in the bus, alone. So much time to recall unhappy moments.
But you are too young to notice anything wrong with me. You are still so young, so carefree, that it breaks my heart knowing that 8 years from now you will probably not look like this any longer. Staring at you smiling at me with innocence tears whatever that was left of my heart in two. You make me want to cry more because I am your sister and you are so much like me.
Which brings me to the point of this letter.
God sent you into this family for a reason. You may not have siblings around your age to play with, but you have a brother and a sister who are both way older than you. We both went through life's challenges, had our hearts broken while you were still too young to understand anything. We went through thick and thin, struggled with choices and decisions, and when we fall we had to find a way to battle failure on our own, and stand up again, perhaps taller than before.
You are so very lucky. I wished I had an older sibling to help me, someone just a little older than me who can tell me what to do, because some things are so personal we cannot even tell our parents.
But I am the first-born child. And as such I think God meant for me to lead my younger siblings, help them when they fall, and make all the mistakes I had made for them to learn from. I conclude that my role is to be an example. If I succeed in life, take after me. If I fail, do not follow my footsteps.
Do not make the mistakes that I had made. Live in the word of God, there is always a reason why God ask of you to do things you do not want to. Listen to mummy, for every girl's best friend is her mother.
If one day... you feel like I do today... Remember that you have a family who loves you, friends who care about you, and a sister who will always be there for you, everytime you fall. For you, I will always be, only a phonecall away.
And never forget, your God loves you. Whatever you have done, He loves you. He loves you so much He sent His only son to die for you 2000 years ago. You are free.
That is, if you have done anything so wrong that you feel like you cannot forgive yourself.
You will be disappointed and hurt. So much so that you might feel like giving up your beliefs. I want you to remember: Things do not always go as planned in life. Laugh as long as you breathe and Love as long as you live.
I give you a quote that touched my heart the first time I read it. And from the bottom of my heart, I pray that you do not have to go through the pain I have felt.
"This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life."
...Try not to grow up so soon...
I watched you grow up, doing the things that I did when I was your age. You are just like me. You even LOOK something like me. So much so that if I was born 12 years ago we could have been twins.
I may be wrong, but I believe that you will feel the way I am feeling today.
I am probably at the lowest point of my life as I am writing this. My heart is broken into a million pieces. I feel ugly, dirty, unattractive. I feel like I'm the only person left in the world. In my world.
I feel guilty because I made mistakes. Mistakes that I cannot undo. Mistakes that I'll have to bear until the day I die.
I have the feeling that when people find out what I had done no one will forgive me. And this feeling is eating me from the inside out ='(
It was so unbearable that I skipped a full day's class and returned home. Yes I did that just to escape from campus. Oh and I am doing my course in English Linguistics, 1st year, 2nd semester, as I am typing this.
Going home did not help. I reached home on Wednesday night, and all too soon it was time to return to campus on Friday. Four hours journey in the bus, alone. So much time to recall unhappy moments.
But you are too young to notice anything wrong with me. You are still so young, so carefree, that it breaks my heart knowing that 8 years from now you will probably not look like this any longer. Staring at you smiling at me with innocence tears whatever that was left of my heart in two. You make me want to cry more because I am your sister and you are so much like me.
Which brings me to the point of this letter.
God sent you into this family for a reason. You may not have siblings around your age to play with, but you have a brother and a sister who are both way older than you. We both went through life's challenges, had our hearts broken while you were still too young to understand anything. We went through thick and thin, struggled with choices and decisions, and when we fall we had to find a way to battle failure on our own, and stand up again, perhaps taller than before.
You are so very lucky. I wished I had an older sibling to help me, someone just a little older than me who can tell me what to do, because some things are so personal we cannot even tell our parents.
But I am the first-born child. And as such I think God meant for me to lead my younger siblings, help them when they fall, and make all the mistakes I had made for them to learn from. I conclude that my role is to be an example. If I succeed in life, take after me. If I fail, do not follow my footsteps.
Do not make the mistakes that I had made. Live in the word of God, there is always a reason why God ask of you to do things you do not want to. Listen to mummy, for every girl's best friend is her mother.
If one day... you feel like I do today... Remember that you have a family who loves you, friends who care about you, and a sister who will always be there for you, everytime you fall. For you, I will always be, only a phonecall away.
And never forget, your God loves you. Whatever you have done, He loves you. He loves you so much He sent His only son to die for you 2000 years ago. You are free.
That is, if you have done anything so wrong that you feel like you cannot forgive yourself.
You will be disappointed and hurt. So much so that you might feel like giving up your beliefs. I want you to remember: Things do not always go as planned in life. Laugh as long as you breathe and Love as long as you live.
I give you a quote that touched my heart the first time I read it. And from the bottom of my heart, I pray that you do not have to go through the pain I have felt.
"This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life."
...Try not to grow up so soon...
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