Hopefully for good @___________@
I find that I have no inspiration to blog at all these days. So I decided that I'll post up something short everyday, just to keep my friends updated.
But logging in to Blogger to put up a short post just sounds ridiculous to me. Besides, I don't really like Blogger's templates and I don't like the layout of my blog.
And don't tell me Blogger's template is customizable because I am very much aware of that and I don't have the patience to edit the codes and I don't have someone to do it for me =_=
So I've moved to a new blog on Tumblr. It's interface is extremely user-friendly and much more suited to short posts than Blogspot. So I announce now.
I have officially moved to http://yumimisama.tumblr.com/
I do not think I will update here anymore, but if I do I'll let you all know via a post on tumblr Orz
Hopefully I'll see you all drop comments in my new blog ^^
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Getting Up
In these few short weeks I've been going through an emotional roller-coaster, dealing with personal struggles, but knowing at the same time that there are things that I need to do.
Life goes on, no matter what had happened.
I have friends around me who are also struggling. It really isn't a good start to a year.
But whether good or bad, the earth doesn't stop spinning. The clock continues ticking. And we continue breathing.
The hardest part about dealing with emotions, is knowing that we cannot just escape reality and bury ourselves in the mess and expecting it to go away just like that. We still have to continue going to work, going for classes, doing our laundry, filling our tummy.
I remember the first few days of the turn of events. I didn't want to do anything. The worst thing was that I had no appetite. My body was screaming for food, but I just couldn't feed it. I'd swallow a few mouthfuls and throw the other three quarters of my plate away.
It was unbearable.
I've heard from most friends too, what they are going through. A few had break-ups, a few had fights, some are going through career problems, and one who's father just passed away.
Those who I know anyway @@
But then again, there are good news too. A friend found new love, a relative is getting married, and another had a new-born baby.
Life is amazing, isn't it? =)
Sometimes we fall, but the process of picking ourselves up, is what helps us grow.
And God is wonderful. He gives us trials, but He will always help us pull through.
And perhaps all this happened for a reason. Because I am now single again, I have more time for myself, to discover myself, to love myself more, and to give more time to my Heavenly Father.
So to all my friends who are going through emotional turmoil, be strong =) Because it will all come to pass. And as my senior tells me:
"When shit happens, you know something better is waiting."
Don't worry my loves =D We are survivors ^o^
Life goes on, no matter what had happened.
I have friends around me who are also struggling. It really isn't a good start to a year.
But whether good or bad, the earth doesn't stop spinning. The clock continues ticking. And we continue breathing.
The hardest part about dealing with emotions, is knowing that we cannot just escape reality and bury ourselves in the mess and expecting it to go away just like that. We still have to continue going to work, going for classes, doing our laundry, filling our tummy.
I remember the first few days of the turn of events. I didn't want to do anything. The worst thing was that I had no appetite. My body was screaming for food, but I just couldn't feed it. I'd swallow a few mouthfuls and throw the other three quarters of my plate away.
It was unbearable.
I've heard from most friends too, what they are going through. A few had break-ups, a few had fights, some are going through career problems, and one who's father just passed away.
Those who I know anyway @@
But then again, there are good news too. A friend found new love, a relative is getting married, and another had a new-born baby.
Life is amazing, isn't it? =)
Sometimes we fall, but the process of picking ourselves up, is what helps us grow.
And God is wonderful. He gives us trials, but He will always help us pull through.
And perhaps all this happened for a reason. Because I am now single again, I have more time for myself, to discover myself, to love myself more, and to give more time to my Heavenly Father.
So to all my friends who are going through emotional turmoil, be strong =) Because it will all come to pass. And as my senior tells me:
"When shit happens, you know something better is waiting."
Don't worry my loves =D We are survivors ^o^
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
A Message to my Sister
Dearest Sister,
You are only a little over 8 years old now as I am typing this, still extremely young, still happy, still adorable, with nothing to worry about except homework. You don't even have to worry about what's for dinner.
I watched you grow up, doing the things that I did when I was your age. You are just like me. You even LOOK something like me. So much so that if I was born 12 years ago we could have been twins.
I may be wrong, but I believe that you will feel the way I am feeling today.
I am probably at the lowest point of my life as I am writing this. My heart is broken into a million pieces. I feel ugly, dirty, unattractive. I feel like I'm the only person left in the world. In my world.
I feel guilty because I made mistakes. Mistakes that I cannot undo. Mistakes that I'll have to bear until the day I die.
I have the feeling that when people find out what I had done no one will forgive me. And this feeling is eating me from the inside out ='(
It was so unbearable that I skipped a full day's class and returned home. Yes I did that just to escape from campus. Oh and I am doing my course in English Linguistics, 1st year, 2nd semester, as I am typing this.
Going home did not help. I reached home on Wednesday night, and all too soon it was time to return to campus on Friday. Four hours journey in the bus, alone. So much time to recall unhappy moments.
But you are too young to notice anything wrong with me. You are still so young, so carefree, that it breaks my heart knowing that 8 years from now you will probably not look like this any longer. Staring at you smiling at me with innocence tears whatever that was left of my heart in two. You make me want to cry more because I am your sister and you are so much like me.
Which brings me to the point of this letter.
God sent you into this family for a reason. You may not have siblings around your age to play with, but you have a brother and a sister who are both way older than you. We both went through life's challenges, had our hearts broken while you were still too young to understand anything. We went through thick and thin, struggled with choices and decisions, and when we fall we had to find a way to battle failure on our own, and stand up again, perhaps taller than before.
You are so very lucky. I wished I had an older sibling to help me, someone just a little older than me who can tell me what to do, because some things are so personal we cannot even tell our parents.
But I am the first-born child. And as such I think God meant for me to lead my younger siblings, help them when they fall, and make all the mistakes I had made for them to learn from. I conclude that my role is to be an example. If I succeed in life, take after me. If I fail, do not follow my footsteps.
Do not make the mistakes that I had made. Live in the word of God, there is always a reason why God ask of you to do things you do not want to. Listen to mummy, for every girl's best friend is her mother.
If one day... you feel like I do today... Remember that you have a family who loves you, friends who care about you, and a sister who will always be there for you, everytime you fall. For you, I will always be, only a phonecall away.
And never forget, your God loves you. Whatever you have done, He loves you. He loves you so much He sent His only son to die for you 2000 years ago. You are free.
That is, if you have done anything so wrong that you feel like you cannot forgive yourself.
You will be disappointed and hurt. So much so that you might feel like giving up your beliefs. I want you to remember: Things do not always go as planned in life. Laugh as long as you breathe and Love as long as you live.
I give you a quote that touched my heart the first time I read it. And from the bottom of my heart, I pray that you do not have to go through the pain I have felt.
"This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life."
...Try not to grow up so soon...
I watched you grow up, doing the things that I did when I was your age. You are just like me. You even LOOK something like me. So much so that if I was born 12 years ago we could have been twins.
I may be wrong, but I believe that you will feel the way I am feeling today.
I am probably at the lowest point of my life as I am writing this. My heart is broken into a million pieces. I feel ugly, dirty, unattractive. I feel like I'm the only person left in the world. In my world.
I feel guilty because I made mistakes. Mistakes that I cannot undo. Mistakes that I'll have to bear until the day I die.
I have the feeling that when people find out what I had done no one will forgive me. And this feeling is eating me from the inside out ='(
It was so unbearable that I skipped a full day's class and returned home. Yes I did that just to escape from campus. Oh and I am doing my course in English Linguistics, 1st year, 2nd semester, as I am typing this.
Going home did not help. I reached home on Wednesday night, and all too soon it was time to return to campus on Friday. Four hours journey in the bus, alone. So much time to recall unhappy moments.
But you are too young to notice anything wrong with me. You are still so young, so carefree, that it breaks my heart knowing that 8 years from now you will probably not look like this any longer. Staring at you smiling at me with innocence tears whatever that was left of my heart in two. You make me want to cry more because I am your sister and you are so much like me.
Which brings me to the point of this letter.
God sent you into this family for a reason. You may not have siblings around your age to play with, but you have a brother and a sister who are both way older than you. We both went through life's challenges, had our hearts broken while you were still too young to understand anything. We went through thick and thin, struggled with choices and decisions, and when we fall we had to find a way to battle failure on our own, and stand up again, perhaps taller than before.
You are so very lucky. I wished I had an older sibling to help me, someone just a little older than me who can tell me what to do, because some things are so personal we cannot even tell our parents.
But I am the first-born child. And as such I think God meant for me to lead my younger siblings, help them when they fall, and make all the mistakes I had made for them to learn from. I conclude that my role is to be an example. If I succeed in life, take after me. If I fail, do not follow my footsteps.
Do not make the mistakes that I had made. Live in the word of God, there is always a reason why God ask of you to do things you do not want to. Listen to mummy, for every girl's best friend is her mother.
If one day... you feel like I do today... Remember that you have a family who loves you, friends who care about you, and a sister who will always be there for you, everytime you fall. For you, I will always be, only a phonecall away.
And never forget, your God loves you. Whatever you have done, He loves you. He loves you so much He sent His only son to die for you 2000 years ago. You are free.
That is, if you have done anything so wrong that you feel like you cannot forgive yourself.
You will be disappointed and hurt. So much so that you might feel like giving up your beliefs. I want you to remember: Things do not always go as planned in life. Laugh as long as you breathe and Love as long as you live.
I give you a quote that touched my heart the first time I read it. And from the bottom of my heart, I pray that you do not have to go through the pain I have felt.
"This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life."
...Try not to grow up so soon...
Monday, January 4, 2010
You have a life
I don't even know how to begin writing this post.
This is written at probably the lowest point in my life because I have never experienced this kind of situation first-hand. It lasted too short.
Anyhow those who know me will probably understand what I'm saying. If you don't then please forgive me for keeping this matter personal.
I called my closest friends for hours in two days, crying my heart out and screaming into my pillow. This is when I finally realise who my best friend in the world is: my mother.
The best advice I got from my friends had me crying all over again.
E: "It's alright to cry at night, but it's not even okay to cry during the day. Because you have a life."
Me: "Am I stupid if I decide to love on even though I am hurt?"
Y: "I will never declare stupidity on one who sacrifices for love. In fact, it is much better than wanting to love but having no courage to love. So love on, my friend, as fiercely as you can. Look forward and continue on bravely. If it doesn't work out, turn around. I will always be one step behind you."
Thank you.
This is written at probably the lowest point in my life because I have never experienced this kind of situation first-hand. It lasted too short.
Anyhow those who know me will probably understand what I'm saying. If you don't then please forgive me for keeping this matter personal.
I called my closest friends for hours in two days, crying my heart out and screaming into my pillow. This is when I finally realise who my best friend in the world is: my mother.
The best advice I got from my friends had me crying all over again.
E: "It's alright to cry at night, but it's not even okay to cry during the day. Because you have a life."
Me: "Am I stupid if I decide to love on even though I am hurt?"
Y: "I will never declare stupidity on one who sacrifices for love. In fact, it is much better than wanting to love but having no courage to love. So love on, my friend, as fiercely as you can. Look forward and continue on bravely. If it doesn't work out, turn around. I will always be one step behind you."
Thank you.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Speeeeeeeeeeeeeeed Update
First week of class is damn the boring =_= Either class is canceled, or the lecturer couldn't make it, or the notice for class is posted on the DAY OF THE CLASS ITSELF.
Class registration system is all wonky and I registered myself for Semiotics in the MALAY group as opposed to the English one fml. So now I have to go to the lecturer and register myself manually ml =O=
I hate it when systems go down >O<
And there's another paper to register for and it CLASHES with two other classes. What the eff is the admin thinking ftl >O< Grrrr not happy now...
Anyway gotta run. Going for new year countdown at KLCC later XD Happy New Year everyone!!!!
Class registration system is all wonky and I registered myself for Semiotics in the MALAY group as opposed to the English one fml. So now I have to go to the lecturer and register myself manually ml =O=
I hate it when systems go down >O<
And there's another paper to register for and it CLASHES with two other classes. What the eff is the admin thinking ftl >O< Grrrr not happy now...
Anyway gotta run. Going for new year countdown at KLCC later XD Happy New Year everyone!!!!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
After a month
Yes yes I am updating now @_@
I just finished an exam paper and my last and final paper is not until two days after today so I thought I'd post an update. Mainly for my friends who have been checking back in day after day week after week month after month @_@
Then again my last paper is Literature so how do you study that anyway? @_@ Read plenty of poetry? But that really doesn't help much......
Plenty of things have happened in the last month or so. So many things that I really don't know where to start =( I will let the stories out bit by bit, but right now I do not have the heart to actually tell you guys anything.
And I apologise for my long looooooong absence @___@
******************************
Now putting all that emo-ness aside, I'll tell you guys roughly what has happened this past month. Yes I know I am contradicting myself since i just said I won't tell you guys anything just yet but that's how a girl's brain works so oh what the heck =_=
Okay firstly, due to my endless habit of procrastination, I was forcced to stay up three nights in a row to complete two assignments, which other people took 3 months to finish, which was worth 30% and 15% each for our final exam.
=_____________________=
Then again, my seniors said, "You will feel like you cannot do it but you will definitely finish it." after I said FML for I guess a thousand times.
But miraculously, I managed to finish them both by their deadlines without asking for extra time! (YAY?) And I celebrated this victory against the clock by sleeping the entire 24 hours after that @_@
I got 21 out of 30. I don't care at least I got 20 something and that is something =_= Plus! I think I did fantastic in today's paper MUAHAHAHAHAHA XD
Ehem.
So that's me staying up to do work. A first time for me =_=
Welcome to university~
I will update again tomorrow. Now zzzzzzz~
I just finished an exam paper and my last and final paper is not until two days after today so I thought I'd post an update. Mainly for my friends who have been checking back in day after day week after week month after month @_@
Then again my last paper is Literature so how do you study that anyway? @_@ Read plenty of poetry? But that really doesn't help much......
Plenty of things have happened in the last month or so. So many things that I really don't know where to start =( I will let the stories out bit by bit, but right now I do not have the heart to actually tell you guys anything.
And I apologise for my long looooooong absence @___@
******************************
Now putting all that emo-ness aside, I'll tell you guys roughly what has happened this past month. Yes I know I am contradicting myself since i just said I won't tell you guys anything just yet but that's how a girl's brain works so oh what the heck =_=
Okay firstly, due to my endless habit of procrastination, I was forcced to stay up three nights in a row to complete two assignments, which other people took 3 months to finish, which was worth 30% and 15% each for our final exam.
=_____________________=
Then again, my seniors said, "You will feel like you cannot do it but you will definitely finish it." after I said FML for I guess a thousand times.
But miraculously, I managed to finish them both by their deadlines without asking for extra time! (YAY?) And I celebrated this victory against the clock by sleeping the entire 24 hours after that @_@
I got 21 out of 30. I don't care at least I got 20 something and that is something =_= Plus! I think I did fantastic in today's paper MUAHAHAHAHAHA XD
Ehem.
So that's me staying up to do work. A first time for me =_=
Welcome to university~
I will update again tomorrow. Now zzzzzzz~
Monday, October 12, 2009
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